you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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