She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize