You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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