the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
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You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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