My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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