Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry about my life...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize