i need an iv and a liver transplant
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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