I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Someone came in the potted fern
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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