this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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