I puked a lego.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
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I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
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Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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