You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize