life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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