Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize