They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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