I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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