nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize