there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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