I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
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He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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