Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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