i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize