I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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