i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize