Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Who died my cat blue again?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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