It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize