Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize