I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize