Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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