That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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