I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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