I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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