Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize