Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize