is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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