I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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