Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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