whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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