you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
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So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
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7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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