well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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