JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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