he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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