You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
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He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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