Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize