worst night to have a conscience
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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