my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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