yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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