now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize