you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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