First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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