Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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