According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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